29 posts left and 31days

So, now I am up to only 29 posts left. Which is sweet. I've got two days to miss a blog, and hopefully I can keep to that. The last post is gonna be sweet. I was thinking about it. New Year's Eve, the last post, the last day of the year. Yeah. Then, I'll begin the new year, full of great and wonderful things.

So, I spent today after school looking through scholarships at fastweb. I filled out a couple of them, and I have about 20 I can do later on in my free time. They've got some cool ones that fit me. Like a hunting scholarship. Sweet. And, a skateboarding scholarship. But that one's gonna be tough, 'cause they like people who fight to get a skatepark. I haven't done much except write a little note to the mayor about a skatepark. But yeah, the skatepark here is garbage. It's in the worst part of town. I feel like I'm gonna get mugged or shot going down there. And there's grafitti all over the park, and there's not much there. We need one like right in the town.

So, I've got work in a tiddly-bit. Then, I have to do the homework I didn't do because of the scholarships. Then, if I have any extra time, I'm gonna try to get some playing time on the Xbox 360. And that's it. See you.

30 posts until I get to 100!

Well, I have found a reason to keep on writing. To get to 100 posts. And I want to do it by the end of the year. Well, there's roughly 30 days (actually a little more) left in the year, so that's about 1 a day. So, I have to come up with something witty and great every single day until the end of the year. Maybe like a little countdown thingy until 2006. Which is a good year, cause that's when I'm done with High School!! Ahahaha, and maybe, just maybe I'll have my life back.

I got my pictures, and I was looking at all of my old pictures since 1999, since I've lived here. And, you can really see a change in me. The long hair is one thing, as well as the shape of my face. But also, my parents pointed out something. In my pictures when I was in middle school, I seemed really happy, wide-open eyes and a huge smile. Now, you look at pictures from the past 2 years or so, and the "sparkle" in my eyes has gone, as well as that huge smile. I think it's because I barely get any sleep anymore, and I am constantly stressed out, and my care for life has just left me.

And, at the start of this week, after the little Thanksgiving break, I've felt this new kind of stress. It's like I'm really freaking out about everything I have to do, but at the same time, I really just don't care. I don't want to do the mounds of homework that I must do. I don't want to write my college essay or finish my applications to the various colleges. I don't want to think about the important decisions I must make now in my life, and which will change my life forever. I just wish there was something to make me care, to make me want to take my time on things, and do a good job, and get things done when they are needed.

So that's it. I must leave for now. But, hopefully, and I'll really try, I will be getting on just about everyday, and starting in December, I'll make a countdown to the end of the year. Goodbye for now!

Hey you guys!

I have just realized that the thrill I got from writing blogs is sort of dissipating. The "zing" of blog-writing is beginning to leave me. It seemed like such a cool thing to do. Maybe that was when I thought my writing was cool and fun to read, and people would come flocking to it. But the very opposite has happened. I wish I could put a little counter down at the bottom, to see how many times people come and actually read my blog.

Yeah. I really don't know if I'm gonna keep going or not. There's so much I don't write about, sometimes 'cause I'm too lazy, some too personal, or just too much to write. I sort of twisted what a blog is, making it a public journal, a little piece of my life that I try sharing with people. I think that the world of blogging is to voice your opinion, to tell others what you believe. Write about current news, and put your spin on it. I don't do that. I don't write up these insanely new ideas that nobody has thought about. I've been trying on my other blog site, the amazingly mad awesome blog. But, I just don't have much to write about. Maybe I should look at the world, see what's happening, and say what I think. But, watching or reading the news most of the time is so boring. Why would people ever want to read what I have to say about news? Maybe I'll be the new Rush Limbaugh. Haha! Like I could think up ideas like that. I'm in IB, but that doesn't mean anything. I'm really not that smart. I may look, or even seem smart. But I'm not. I'm average, like anybody else. I don't have these radical new ideas, or some stellar, Nobel-prize winning innovation in the works. I just put effort into the things I do. And when you put effort in, you can do just about anything.

Well, that's my spiel on everything. I really don't have much to write about. School during the day, hours of homework Sunday-Thursday. Then just slacking off Friday and Saturday, trying to recuperate from the damage homework has brought on me. And that's my life right now. So very stressed. I thought that finishing my Eagle would get rid of some of the stress, but it didn't do too much. It just made me realize all of the other stuff that I have put in reserve, and still needs to be finished. Let's see here. In the next few months: 1. Extended Essay; 2. History Essay; 3. English World Lit. Paper; 4. English orals; 5. TOK Essay; 6. Service/Creativity hours; 7. TOK presentation. Between now and the end of February, I have to stuff all of that in. Well, not the service hours. That can wait until like March or April. And that's the long-term stuff. There's all the short term stuff that keeps popping up every week, and gives me no time to do the long-term stuff. Like this weekend- 1. Economics paper; 2. Math portfolio; 3. English 2-page analysis; 4. 50 very dense pages in a history book and journal entries; 5. Evolution essay; 6. College essays; 7. College Resume; 8. Talk for church. Yeah. That's it. Maybe I can condense everything into one day. Just sit down and spend like 6 or more hours plugging away at everything. Which I'm going to be doing anyways. I used to look forward to the weekends. It meant no school, little homework, and time for fun. Now it means hours and hours and hours of homework, and no time to do anything else, other than explode from all the stress that it has brought on.

I'm done. I can't write anymore. I have to go relax now, shooting people in Halo 2, one of the only reasons why I have not gone insane yet.